Friday, April 20, 2007

A joke?

Michael Tobis has been murdering old mathematician jokes, so Eli thought he would take a shot.

Al Gore and James Annan and Roger Pielke Jr. were sleeping in a hotel room when a fire broke out in one corner of the room. Only Al Gore woke up he saw the fire, grabbed a bucket of water and threw it on the fire and the fire went out, then he filled up the bucket again and threw that bucketful on the ashes as a safety factor, and he went back to sleep. A little later, another fire broke out in a different corner of the room and only James Annan woke up. He went over measured the intensity of the fire, saw what material was burning and went over and carefully measured out exactly 2/3 of a bucket of water and poured it on, putting out the fire perfectly; James then went back to sleep. A little later another fire broke out in a different corner of the room. Only Roger Pielke Jr. woke up. He went over looked at the fire, he saw that there was a bucket and he noticed that it had no holes in it; he turned on the faucet and saw that there was water available. He, thus, concluded that there was a solution to the fire problem and he went back to sleep.


CapitalistImperialistPig said...

Very droll.

coby said...

tehehe...U R funny.

CapitalistImperialistPig said...

The way I heard it, Lindzen, Motl, and the CEO of Exxon Mobile were also in the room. When the fire broke out, Lindzen sent Motl out for marshmallows, and the EM guy for some lighter fluid, in case the fire went out.

Then he went back to sleep.

Anonymous said...

No, No, No, No! You've got it all wrong Pig.

Nobody sent the EM guy our for lighter fluid.

Who do yu think was setting all the damn fires?

Anonymous said...

Actually, I believe Pielke would have rationalized for a split second that

"People should not live in fire-prone buildings (just as people should not build on the beach) and, besides, future generations can adapt to living in a burned-out building" ...and then high tailed it out of there as fast as his little legs could go.

Anonymous said...

I didn't realize that Al Gore ever slept...and I also think he would undoubtedly have called up the media to let them know he had invented...I mean put out the fire....and then made a movie... and then run for office...and then took a nap (maybe)

Anonymous said...

I think Annan would have made a quick attempt to measure the "sensitivity" of the fire (by adding a small post-it note to the fire and then measuring the increase in temperature) before putting the fire out (so he could at least get a paper out of it).

Anonymous said...

I thought ExxonMobil guys always had fuel on them.

I mean, you expect the ice cream man to have ice cream, the drug dealer to have drugs, the mailman to have letters, the librarian to have books and George Bush to have no clue right?

Why then would you not expect the EM man to have fuel? It makes no logical sense.

Adam said...

Is there a possibility that James Annan wouldn't quite have enough water in the bucket to completely put the fire out? ;)

Fergus said...

Okay, here's my poor attempt: (with apologies to the Revd. Lionel Blue, former chief Rabbi)

The angel Gabriel visits Hansen, Pielke Jr. and (insert name of favourite snarker) - Milloy one night and gives them all the same message: 'The Lord is tired of Man's abuse of his creation: in a week, all the unworthy will be punished by a great deluge. Go forth and tell your people the news.'

The next morning, the three all woke up and started writing. Hansen's article appeared in Nature: 'We must change our ways or we are doomed' it says, 'the time to act is now...'
Pielke's appears in the Washington Post: 'We may have a bit of a problem: I recommend forming an advisory panel to discuss possible solutions: a week is a long time in Politics...'
Milloy's appears in Forbes: 'There's never been a better time to buy that yacht you always wanted...oh, and don't forget to get your Hummer rustproofed...'


Dano said...

I think that at some time during the process, RP Jr harrumphs that the bucket handle fell to the left when he put it down, showing that part of the fire-dousing solution was politicized and thus his non-participation in the dousicizationing.



PeterH said...

Redolent that, Fergus - though how many readers here also listen to 'Today' might be interesting to know.

I guess it's back to framing again, so that more 'do' and less listen to the 'don'ts'.

Anonymous said...

If Nisbett was in the room, he'd tell the others that they probably wouldn't need their bed covers any more.

zinfan94 said...

Actually RP jr and the EM guy were playing with gasoline, and set the room on fire. RP jr quickly followed the EM guy to the EXIT and left Al Gore jr and Annan to perish in the fire.

When asked why he didn't save the two men, RP jr stated that recent statistics for the state didn't show an unmistakable increase in fire fatalities, and therefore he wasn't responsible for their death. His statistical analysis demonstrated that they would have died anyway.

When confronted with evidence showing his and the EM guy's fingerprints on the gasoline can, RP jr said:

"OK, one piece of evidence says yes, and my statistical analysis showing no, so still no conclusive proof that I have anything to do with their deaths."

RP jr then proceeded to attack the fire chief as a dishonest broker, and contrasted his thinking with the true analysis only available from an honest broker such as Roger Pielke Jr.

Anonymous said...

[insert favorite inactive politician] wakes up, then takes a look at the fire and the bucket of water... thinks for a second and declares: "There is no way we can put off this fire without the help of all the occupants in this hotel, besides, we need the water to brush our teeth in the morning."


hapa said...

"Al Gore and James Annan and Roger Pielke Jr. were sleeping in a hotel room when a fire broke out in one corner of the room. Only Al Gore woke up he saw the fire" and led everyone outside where they were SWALLOWED WHOLE BY A 3-HEADED EXTRATERRESTRIAL MEGASAUR!!!!


and then they froze to death in the dark too

this is why you should let your house burn down even if you are trapped inside.