Monday, April 23, 2007

The mice play (avert eyes)

Michael Tobis started it, Eli joined in, but the anonymice have stolen the cheese. Since only the brave around here look at the comments, Eli thought it due (besides which he gets a free post out of it) to show you that when the Rabett is away, the mice will play.

We start with Fergus Brown, who if he does not control himself will end up on the blogroll

Okay, here's my poor attempt: (with apologies to the Revd. Lionel Blue, former chief Rabbi)

The angel Gabriel visits Hansen, Pielke Jr. and (insert name of favourite snarker) - Milloy one night and gives them all the same message: 'The Lord is tired of Man's abuse of his creation: in a week, all the unworthy will be punished by a great deluge. Go forth and tell your people the news.'

The next morning, the three all woke up and started writing. Hansen's article appeared in Nature: 'We must change our ways or we are doomed' it says, 'the time to act is now...'
Pielke's appears in the Washington Post: 'We may have a bit of a problem: I recommend forming an advisory panel to discuss possible solutions: a week is a long time in Politics...'
Milloy's appears in Forbes: 'There's never been a better time to buy that yacht you always wanted...oh, and don't forget to get your Hummer rustproofed...'
Fergus, we would appreciate a pointer to Rabbi Blue's joke....and we have some approvingly snarky comments from the mice...
I think Annan would have made a quick attempt to measure the "sensitivity" of the fire (by adding a small post-it note to the fire and then measuring the increase in temperature) before putting the fire out (so he could at least get a paper out of it).
A comment about super Al
I didn't realize that Al Gore ever slept...and I also think he would undoubtedly have called up the media to let them know he had invented...I mean put out the fire....and then made a movie... and then run for office...and then took a nap (maybe)
and, of course, Rabett Run being the center of the Pielke fan club some comments about Roger
Actually, I believe Pielke would have rationalized for a split second that

"People should not live in fire-prone buildings (just as people should not build on the beach) and, besides, future generations can adapt to living in a burned-out building"
The Pig pointed out
The way I heard it, Lindzen, Motl, and the CEO of Exxon Mobile were also in the room. When the fire broke out, Lindzen sent Motl out for marshmallows, and the EM guy for some lighter fluid, in case the fire went out.
There were multiple comments to the effect
No, No, No, No! You've got it all wrong Pig.
Nobody sent the EM guy our for lighter fluid.
Who do yu think was setting all the damn fires?
I mean, you expect the ice cream man to have ice cream, the drug dealer to have drugs, the mailman to have letters, the librarian to have books and George Bush to have no clue right?

Why then would you not expect the EM man to have fuel? It makes no logical sense.
Oh yes, Coby has a good one over at Tobis' place in the comments.


Anonymous said...

"only the brave around here look at the comments"

You got that right. I don't even dare look at my own when I make them (and I realize, it probably shows).

-- Algeranon

Unknown said...

Sorry, uncle Eli: I can't find a reference for the original, so this is it as I remember it.

To place into context, early every morning, BBC Radio 4 transmits a 'Thought for the day'. This is often, but does not have to be, religiously-inspired. The Rev. Blue was a regular and popular contributor. The joke came in one of his transmissions.

The Lord called up the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Chief Rabbi to address them.
'I am tired of man's abuse of my gift; thus, there will be a new flood, in two weeks' time, to wash the earth clean once more,' God tells them. 'Now, go back to your flocks and prepare them...'

The Pope holds a mass in St. Peter's. 'We are all going to be punished for our sins,' he says, 'say your confessions now and pray for forgiveness...'
The Archbishop speaks from his palace; 'Er...I got some bad news for you; we are all doomed. Now, turn to hymn 732 and lift up your voices...'
The chief Rabbi calls the Jewish elders together: 'Right everyone,' he says, 'You've got two weeks to learn how to breathe underwater...'

Anonymous said...

Lionel Blue is one of our national treasures, but alas he's never been Chief Rabbi (far too funny).

Unknown said...

Oh no, that's right; that was Jweffrey Sachs...